Writing first, yoga second, and life will just have to figure itself out.

photos: Early 2014, in my yoga space. I no longer own a business nor a studio space, I stopped December 2020.

I m writing this after a satisfying breakfast, still in my bathing robe and already halfway through a can of black coffee.
To be behind a computer AM, is a familiar sighting. But I have not written for this blog in a while. And for the past four years I rarely let myself write first thing in the morning.
Because I know little will get done after it.

Things I am allowed to do in the morning are:
Yoga, cycling, anything on my schedule, appointments and so on, and getting a new business going (something you sell) and if that feels too overwhelming, then create videos;
Make Bon Jovi/ yoga/ business videos for my three YouTube channels.

Show yourself, share yourself, share your work, so you can later add a business model to them.
And since visual communication has won the 21st century, and because being visible, was going to be at the heart of a new career, then we all know text don’t count.

We all know that in the real world, writing is merely a tool, something people use to sell something real. Writing pour le writing, is something only a fool would spend their time on.
Let alone someone pushing 50 who is without career. Someone like that is in a hurry! And picking up a pen is about as constructive as online gambling. Just that with writing you lose time and your day, not money.
But since they all say that time is the only real true currency, whether losing time is actually better than a gambling addiction remains debatable.

But I think you get the idea why I m not going to waste time with something as futile as writing.
I still believe that if it had not been for the pandemic, my career in yoga would have transformed into something new. That it would have been a reinvention, not a finalizing. But that’s all water under the bridge now.

So to be honest, I don’t care that writing gives my life meaning, that it’s the only thing I m good at, and that I want to do it each morning and the only thing people (usually writers) envy me for and that I know how to do daily, and full of passion.
Because if it’s not making me money?
If it’s not writing I use to sell something?
Then at age 50, it goes on the pile with gambling addiction and other bad life habits. 

Or it goes on the pile of habits I m allowed to do if I get up at 5 AM, and I can indulge myself in before my real job starts.
Which is the timeslot writing will end up soon, now that I have burned all business models to the ground.
For this post, I will limit myself to discussing the yoga business model, but there has been more abandoning and walking away from. It all had to go.

What has happened in the past four years is that because I knew it is better to make money as an entrepreneur – because you have multiple clients, multiple services and multiple income streams – than it is to make money being employed, because you only have one income stream – and because I love marketing and sales, I have looked for ways to start a new business and tried out a few too.
But the most exciting one has been something I called Rock Star Yoga.

Rock Star Yoga was going to be a blend of teaching yoga in real life, whether locally or nationally and even internationally;
Of making YouTube videos, and of sharing my own practice through this blog, Daily Bon Jovi Yoga.

Where writing or business coaching, my two other skills for which I am qualified and that I can monetize, need work in order to be able to sell it; And would cost me hours for which I would get paid immediately or afterwards;
Rock Star Yoga didn’t have any of that.

The vision I had of being together doing Rock Star Yoga, WAS the Rock Star Yoga.
Just like a concert IS, the highest form of performance for an artist.
And an album, is their most tangible form of music.

The reason that within the immaterial arts, almost nobody is an artist or a rock star, is because you need to stay away from the things that make you money in the short run such as:
Cover band/ tribute band, teaching your skill, making courses.

If yoga is my art (and it is) then it is an immaterial art form, and I must stay away from selling it as yoga.  

Since July 2019, one year after I took my first steps on the path of slowing down my regular yoga business to give way to something new, I have known that something I called Rock Star Yoga, was going to be my second career in yoga.
Unsurprisingly, it has been a terribly rocky path! 
So July 2019 to April 2022, that’s two years and 9 months, before the uncomfortable truth sank in that if Rock Star Yoga was art then I had to ruthlessly pull the plug on selling my yoga at cover band, tribute band level, or selling my yoga as a yoga teacher, ever again.
I still hope to one day live in a big house, where I teach yoga to friends in my home studio. Just like artists have a home studio, where they play and record.

But even the idea of giving yoga shows, events where I teach;
Even that exciting idea that dissipated this week.
It’s gone.
Not just the small hope that I would teach locally, but the big vision too.
It’s all gone.

Thursday morning I woke up with the idea of starting to teach. I knew a location that would be ideal for Rock Star Yoga!
Excited that after 4 years of introspection and downsizing my yoga, I finally had a big vision AND a local, more sustainable vision for building a day to day yoga business, I contacted them.
But something in the communication felt so completely off, and I could just see how it was all related to the reality of building a yoga business.
This no longer worked for me.
Having a brick and mortar business, is a calling in and of itself.

What I had not realized is that once you re used to sharing your work online, there is just no going back into the real world.
Rock Star Yoga, cannot exist in a pinpointed, packaged up, tangible fashion, within four walls and with a company registered at the chamber of commerce.
Not as service, not as art, not as artist, and then subsequently also, not as a business.

Rock Star Yoga cannot exist unless someone has Rock Star Yoga as their calling like I have writing as my calling.
Business, teaching, a brick and mortar location, Rock Star Yoga?
They are all things that need your full attention.

Having four blogs here, three other blogs elsewhere, 16 years of writing under my belt and with my desk calling me every morning, and me ignoring that calling with the mightiest of might for the past four years?
Dealing with anything else than writing?
Is attention I don’t have.

I am only a writer, even if being only a writer is not a real thing.
Then I will make my peace with not being a real thing.

The upcoming years I will share everything I know about yoga on my YouTube channels, and develop Rock Star Yoga, or see “what it wants to be”, as it evolves, day by day. I will write here on this blog, about doing yoga and about Rock Star Yoga.
And I will also share what I know about business, on my Rock Your Business YouTube.

But what I will probably not share, is how blessed you are if you do not have a an irrepressible urge to be creative every morning.
Maybe you even have a writer’s block!
Cherish it, it means you can make something out of your life!

I have numbed out my urge to write with Netflix, with food (I m at my heaviest ever), alcohol, –
I can’t think of more. Those are the only three that have been strong enough to numb it out.

So I m just going to accept that all I want to do is write, and that everything else is just going to have to take care of itself.
Because after four years of trying to reinvent my yoga career or any career,  my yoga business or any business;
And gaining ten kilos and consuming countless Netflix series instead?

I m done.
I failed.

Writing first. Yoga second, maybe.

.
~Suzanne
Rock Star Writer Nijmegen
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About me:
After 2 years, I’m my old self again! | daily yoga kickoff
About Daily Bon Jovi Yoga and Rock Star Yoga: 
Uncovering Rock Star Yoga; A Journey

Sources I do yoga with: 
1. free download, t
his is a 17 page guide
Bon Jovi Yoga Set List 2.0 – yoga framework incl sticky men schedules
2. White Tigress Yoga Workbook
You can find this book at the bottom of this page:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/rockstarwriter
3. Rock Star Yoga
Pure Rock Star Yoga is a free flowing form of movement (improvisation) without following a system. Just music.

************

1. Subscribe to receive these posts in your inbox.
You can find the subscription button on this page, probably on the top right.

2 YouTube: Life lessons in Bon Jovi songs & yoga
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXpNMsIFP2U34A0yBKk8PUQ

3  YouTube: yoga met Suzanne Beenackers (Nederlands) 
Reboot snel!
De cover foto’s en profiel foto al veranderd, het wordt echt een kleine studio, kijk maar vast:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA81I4RdVvgtGK99T3Io3Ew

other:
yoga on
YouTube by me:
PRO videos 2015 2016
Archive home yoga – English

Rock Star Writer, my blog dedicated to Bon Jovi, sex, and rock n roll.
our Facebook page Rock Star Writer
Twitter account

Art & Popular Culture: World Between Worlds 
YouTube Rock Your Business

You can find my books The Little Mistress Who Turned Into A Baby Koala
and A Boyfriend Like Jon Bongiovi
and White Tigress Yoga Workbook
at the bottom of this page:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/rockstarwriter

beginner friendly playlists from my channel:.

Title: “Rock Star”
or “Rock Star yoga/ business/ writer”

artists: Suzanne Beenackers, little bear Puux           
art form: performance art
phase 1: earliest expressions, mixed work, July 2019 – March 2022
phase 2: April 2022 – 

3 YouTube channels
1. English YouTube “Liberation”: Rock Star Yoga + Life lessons in Bon Jovi songs
2. Nederlandse YouTube “de Catacombe” studio voor Rock Star Yoga 
3. YouTube Rock Your Business
The headers from all channels have been changed already, so you know you re in the right spot.

4 blogs
1. Rock Star Writer
2. Yoga Blog: Daily Bon Jovi Yoga
3. World Between Worlds
4. Dutch blog: Suzanne Beenackers

2 Facebook pages
1. Rock Star Writer on Facebook
2. Dutch: Suzanne Beenackers Schrijver Facebook met beertje Puux

1 Twitter account
my personal Twitter account

.
NEW: Books!

You can find my books The Little Mistress Who Turned Into A Baby Koala
A Boyfriend Like Jon Bongiovi and The White Tigress Yoga Workbook
at the bottom of this page:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/rockstarwriter

If you live in The Netherlands, Belgium or Germany, you can also order these books from me – just go to the bottom of this page:
https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/rockstarwriter
to check out which ones you want, and write me an email at s_beenackers@hotmail.com.
Payment is via PayPal or bank transfer.

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