Once upon a time, not so long ago, I would suffer a backlash after I had sex. And it was unpredictable what form it would have.
It was very well possible the following day was one of great creative output, where I came up with sales pages, new projects, lengthy blogposts, or otherwise creative accomplishments I would never have had, if it had not been for the fact that I had sex the day before.
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Or it could be that I woke up in such a deplorable state of neediness and emotional dependence, I had a deep understanding of why couples can’t wait to solidify their coupling, and put some healthy borders around it, so that sex can start taking place WITHIN them.
And you no longer wake up feeling emotionally stretched, taxed and without a clue where to start your road to recovery once more.
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But I no longer have that.
I wouldn’t say I just pull up my pants and say: “See you next time!”
Of course it takes effort, from two people, to create a wholesome experience and mentally stabilize you both, before you part.
There has definitely been a learning curve in that one, but I’m confident that I will never suffer a shattered broken heart if things end, and that the awful post-sex feeling will only happen if I wasn’t feeling good in my own skin.
I know what to look for, in myself and the other, and no longer have to take into account 72 hours of being on a rollercoaster, until I am my old self again.
Or at least;
Not for sex!
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Because the restlessness, the migraines, the sleepless nights, the anxiety and
the panic attacks seem to have migrated from being an aftermath to sex, to being a social hangover or a backlash from going to concerts.
This summer’s strongest memories are of Guns N’ Roses concert and this week with the concert from a German Bon Jovi tribute band, Bounce.
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Last weekend’s Bounce concert resulted in a long read (and long write!) for my Rock Star Writer blog:
That’s no tribute band; That’s a rock n’ roll orchestra!
| Tribute band Bounce | de Wolfsberg, Groesbeek | 2022 08 21
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Which I was thrilled to be able to write, because based on what happened in the past, in my love life (and with Bon Jovi 2019, after the high of creative outburst had worn off) is that I can also have a meltdown. Something malicious that destroys me from the inside out.
Exactly like that post-sex feeling, where you’ve been so intimate, and you just need that person to call you and say they love you and everything will be okay.
Except they don’t.
Because you don’t have that type of relationship, or because he is Jon Bon Jovi and the band is on their way to Dublin already.
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So far I have been able to avoid meltdowns, but this week is absolutely not the emotionally contained, productive, balanced week I would have liked it to be.
From an emotional point of view, both the concert as well as the creation of that long read/ long write, was disruptive.
It was intense.
It was chaos.
It was without having an understanding of how things would be tied up, rounded off, and in what shape I’d be once it had ran its course.
Once it had had its way with me.
Yet I knew, I BELONGED.
I knew being at the concert or being at my writing desk (Sunday 5 hours and Monday 8 hours) that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
Just like when I am with a lover I know it is exactly where I am supposed to be.
And that means that anything that comes from it, good or bad, is for me as well.
But this morning I woke up, after a night of tossing and turning and 4 hours of sleep (which was already twice as much as Monday-Tuesday, when I slept 2), I woke up broken with a headache.
I felt sick as a dog, and immediately recognized it from the morning after the Guns N’ Roses concert. I had taken a hotel and I have never eaten such a tiny breakfast at a buffet that was delicious and already included in the price.
And at that breakfast, I still had a journey of over 3 hours waiting for me.
This morning I could get a paracetamol and go back to bed.
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But boy…. did I recognize that feeling.
This morning I knew exactly why I don’t do social events, and also why I limit concerts to the ones I absolutely want to attend!
Because the sensory overload is just a bitch. And it can bite me in the ass days after, because I always keep listening to the music, concert recordings and so on, in the days after.
I keep engaging with the band I saw, just like writing about a sexual experience (under a different name) helps me to process it, and transmute it.
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Peak experiences start anything between hours to days to even months in advance.
And they can last up to two weeks after.
In 2019, with the Bon Jovi concert, I had missed paying the rent for my yoga space for two consecutive months, before I had “landed” and started paying attention to my finances.
The landlord was very understanding, and no harm was done, but I always remembered that because it was the first time I had “evidence” that I had really been in a different place, for a week or six.
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But this summer has been the first time I have these experiences of feeling physically sick afterwards.
I had it after Guns N’ Roses, I had it after my birthday, I had it this morning and although it was handled with a few hours of extra sleep, I don’t know what the rest of this week brings.
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Having peak experiences is fickle and risky, but it’s also addictive.
It gives you something no ordinary, how did I call it?
Productive and balanced?
It gives you something no productive and balanced week will ever be able to give you.
And from my love life, I do know that you can make progress. That you CAN, ultimately, get better at having a good time, without paying a high price afterwards.
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But on mornings like this, on days like this, when I can still feel that rawness, that pain, somewhere very close to the surface, I do wonder:
Do I really want this?
Can’t I just be happy with my love life being exactly right, and keep a low-intensity profile for the rest?
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One of the things I have found fascinating, is that while I was still recovering from Bon Jovi, from Guns N’ Roses;
The band was already on their way to their next stop.
Once I had landed, properly, once all my blogposts were done, all the inspiration was carried on into something else, and once I was back on earth in a way that I even bothered to check on my finance (something I do every day, if I m not in “concert-mode”) those bands had done 6 to 7 shows!
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They had repeated the concert, again and again, where it had taken me weeks to recover!
And yes, with lovers too, I think they are out and about a lot sooner than I am.
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But then I remember the belonging.
The knowing you are in the right place, at the right time, and there is certainty that this is your experience to have.
Or in case of the writing: You know that this is your creative work to do.
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In 1993, Bon Jovi had what I would call their messiest tour. Their dirtiest tour, that was marked by inconsistent ticket sales, endless rescheduling, a wide variety in locations, indoor, outdoor, big, small;
It would have been enough to drive any rock star crazy, and it probably did.
Just listen to Jon going all in, on this mid-Bad Medicine improv at the Kiel concert!
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And when you watch those 1993 shows you can see it.
The wildness, the madness, the unease, the not knowing how you will make it to the other side, and IF you will make it to the other side.
But you know one thing:
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This is where you belong.
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Therefor:
24 August 1993, Kiel Bon Jovi | Legendary Concert at Ostseehalle | Kiel 1993 is the soundtrack for today
. It is added to the official playlist for this blog “Bon Jovi concerts on this day” https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiGoDE3C06ScAo9UN4GyhtQWYfl3d6jMT at August 24. ~Suzanne Rock Star Writer ☕️ Buy me a coffee 🥳 PayPalMe 🇳🇱Tikkie van de weekWhere’s the yoga?!
Starting August 2022, and for about one year I think, this blog is ALL about Bon Jovi On this day – concerts. But I will share my personal #dailybonjoviyoga yoga on my Twitter As you can imagine after reading the above post; My yoga has completely bottomed out, from all the excitement! To do your own #dailybonjoviyoga, check the fully updated page: Practice materials and schedules .That was it!
Thank you for reading my Daily Bon Jovi Yoga blog! Follow this blog, for more On this day- inspired stories. You can find the subscription button on this page, probably on the top right. I currently blog here about 2, 3 times a week. And I share a Bon Jovi soundtrack on Twitter and Rock Star Writer Facebook EVERY DAY! Twitter https://twitter.com/SLBeenackers all blogs, all posts, I practically live here! Dailies on Twitter: little bear Puux, soundtrack Bon Jovi on this day concert Facebook Rock Star Writer all English blogposts and a soundtrack on this day At my other blog, the original Rock Star Writer blog, I write longer posts about the world of Rock. So subscribe there for something to really sink your teeth in! My English YouTube channel Life lessons in Bon Jovi songs will reboot this week. Nederlandse YouTube wordt een channel voor generatie X (1965-1980), en begint ook deze week. NEW: Books!
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A Boyfriend Like Jon Bongiovi
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This series has a playlist of On-this-day Bon Jovi concerts.
Updated daily with the most recent date at the top.
There is an amazing 1993 recording for this day! 
One of the reasons it took me until the longest of times to recraft my second career in yoga, and to also find a way to get back to the mat and enjoy my own practice, is because back in the late 90s, I had failed to see WHY I had felt attracted to doing yoga, and to teaching yoga.
I might just be a little bit older than I used to! 
Daily Bon Jovi Yoga 