The first time I knew I had issues, was when my first thought when someone was talking about the challenges of showing up online for your business, in particular if it’s a service close to your heart and you want to be honest-and-authentic you and not masking-as-professional you, was that at least they HAD something to sell!
“If only my life were that easy!” I thought.
I write for this account, Daily Bon Jovi Yoga, but I also write under Rock Star Writer, and have an art blog or more “meta blog” for popular culture that is not Bon Jovi.
That art blog is called World Between Worlds.
Then I have a business channel, and a YouTube channel about Bon Jovi.
And (behold!) this is ONLY the English content under my real name!
If I would include the media I use for my pen name, and for my Dutch content, it would double or triple.
However, since I stopped being a yoga teacher, I no longer “am” something.
I do not write for the sake of writing. It’s not a deliberate art, not some delicate craft that needs to be developed, kept in shape, polished and fine tuned.
My writing does not even need to be admired, that’s how natural it is to me.
I just write because I can’t not write!
It would be like trying to stop myself from breathing. The story needs to come out.
However, writing just because you die if you don’t, that is not a thing. It doesn’t become a thing until you monetize it, make money off of it.
Something I know I don’t have time for.
Because I don’t know if you have any idea how writing for money works? But it’s a high risk low payoff industry.
If you want to make money, any skill will get you there faster, than writing.
Writing is only monetizable if you use it to SELL something else!
Like yoga, for instance.
Anything business or professional, combined with writing results in a mesmerizing combination!
And as a solo activity: Writing will work if you’re deeply invested in the craft (and write historical novels), or if you re a copy writer, or otherwise write for money, that could work.
But writing just because you’ve got the story coming out of you and stopping it is way too much effort compared letting the thing out?
Does not count.
Now, the conversation I had, about showing up online with someone who did have something to sell, did make me aware that I needed to up on my books!
If only I started publishing those, I would be a writer, and I could close every blog post with:
“My first book *insert juicy title* is now available at (…)!”
I had to publish my books (for this account/name) and then I would “be” somebody!
It wasn’t until I was home that I realized I was making excuses to NOT show up online, to NOT blog every day, something which I not only love doing but also can’t not do, as mentioned before.
Where the friend was having trouble to show up online to write, speak and sell;
I was having trouble showing up online because I could write (effortlessly),
speak (YouTube, way much more effort, but very rewarding)
but I had nothing to sell!
In my career as a yoga teacher I had gotten so used to the validation of being a yoga teacher, and having that invitation for a first class/ to join the studio, at the bottom of my page;
I didn’t know how to show up online without.
Without the identity of being a yoga teacher, having a studio, offering classes, I was feeling so naked I needed to be a published author instead!
I had been holding myself back because I could not invite people to work with me, not to take my classes, not to DM me.
I was a turtle without a shell.
I needed a shell… I needed to be able to say, “buy my books!”, or I made a fool of myself even being here…
Naturally, the realization I had with the friend was the start of coming to my senses and realizing I had to get over this.
Had to make my peace with the fact that I did not fit into a box, did not know how to professionally call myself, make my peace with having nothing to sell and also use this time to detach from the idea that if or when I do have something to sell?
That that does not define me.
My work will always be bigger than a book I have on sale.
My work is to do Daily Bon Jovi Yoga and write.
What did I just say?
A little voice in my head repeated: “My work is to do Daily Bon Jovi Yoga and write.”
So my question to you is:
Where are you looking for a box to fit in?
Where are you uncomfortable just being and doing, whatever it is you’re called to do, even when to the outside world that does not have a shape or form?
I just changed my bio on Twitter to:
“I do Daily Bon Jovi Yoga and write.”
That is five months after I stopped being an entrepreneur and yoga teacher, and almost two years after the Bon Jovi concert that I knew would change my future.
Two years looking for something solid, something to call myself. Even though I already did Bon Jovi yoga in 2019, and I ve been writing since 2006.
God makes us in many shapes and sizes, both physically. But also in terms of skills, interests, fascinations, curiosity.
Don’t wait until you have a box for it, a label, a name, a price tag, because that day may never come.
Rock whatever it is you’re doing, that’s all there is to it.
And it saves you two years.
Rock Star Writer
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